Alexander Outland: Space Pirate Read online

  “What do you get out of this?”

  “A ride off Herion with congenial company.”

  I knew he was both telling the truth and lying. I was a pro at this, I could spot the signs. Not that the kid wasn’t skilled. Just not up to my standards. “Neither’s going to happen unless you explain what ‘limited telepath’ means.”

  Tanner mumbled something. He was back to fiddling with his gun.

  “Not coming through. And stop playing with the lasershot. I don’t want to die from supposedly friendly fire.”

  “I’m the best friend you have on Herion who didn’t arrive with you.”

  “That’s the most backhanded compliment available. No one on this rock is my friend. So if you’re merely trying to kill me in a humane way, that would put you at the top of the heap.”

  “Are you always this unpleasant?”

  “Yeah, pretty much. Part of my charm. My crew doesn’t seem to mind.”

  “Uh, right.”

  “Back to that whole required explanation of your telepathic skills or else I kick you out with extreme prejudice thing.”

  He must have been able to tell I wasn’t joking. “Fine. Telepathy’s an iffy thing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Every telepath has some quirk that they have to learn to work with and around. I’m pretty powerful, all things considered. But….”

  “But?” He sure didn’t want to tell me anything. Of course, this made me more determined to get the information.

  “But my telepathic quirk is that the longer I’m around someone, the harder it is for me to read them.” He sounded like he was admitting to being a eunuch.

  I pondered this. There was more to it, I was sure. “So, you take a space flight with someone and you can’t read their mind by the end of it?”

  “Sort of.” Tanner shifted uncomfortably. “It’s based against my emotions. The more I like or dislike someone, the faster I lose the ability to read their minds. Someone I don’t know at all I can read easily. Someone I’ve heard of but don’t really know or have a strong impression of I can read easily. Once I interact with them, however, it’s only a matter of time before I won’t be able to read them any more.”

  “Ever?”

  “Well, it’s spotty.”

  “Explain spotty.”

  He pointed us onto a road that indicated we were heading for Herion farmland. Couldn’t wait. “I don’t really want to.”

  “I don’t really care. I can dump you out, I can have the others shoot you, I can take you into space and shove you out the airlock. Or you can tell me all about your telepathic shortcomings and maybe I’ll let you stay.”

  “You won’t space me. You don’t work like that.”

  “How would you know?”

  “You’re really enamored with being a scoundrel, and you are, but you’re a decent person at your core. Decent people don’t space someone just because said someone has a birth defect.”

  I considered this as we went over some impressive bumps in the road. In between the crew’s complaints, loud enough to be heard up front, I wondered why everyone wanted to insist I was Mr. Nobility. I didn’t see it that way. Besides, nobility rarely paid well unless you had a crown attached to it. But something else Tanner had said was bothering me more.

  “What do you mean, birth defect?”

  He snorted. “Like being able to walk into a room and know exactly what everyone in it thought of you, instantly, is some great benefit?”

  “I think it would be.”

  “Yeah, you’re not a telepath.” He sounded bitter. Angry bitter, the kind of bitter built up over years. He also sounded hopeless.

  “You’ve put the skill to good use.”

  “Right. Because I’ve got so many friends and such a wonderful life.”

  I looked at him again out of the corner of my eyes. I was pretty sure the kid was trying not to cry. “How long have you been on Herion?”

  “A few months. A few long, horrible months.”

  “Yeah, I’m not a fan of this place either. Why were you sent here?”

  “I wasn’t. I was heading for Runilio. Our ship was the last one to land safely here… until yours did, that is.”

  “Why is that?”

  “I was able to warn the captain. Of course, that earned me lifelong friendship.”

  “You’re sort of obsessed with friendship, or the lack thereof.”

  “Yeah? Well, you try having no friends for your entire life and then tell me how it feels.”

  The last thing I wanted to do was let this guy manipulate me into feeling sorry for him. That led to keeping him around. Then getting used to him. Then taking care of him. Then worrying about him, fighting with him, laughing with him, and becoming attached to him. I didn’t need that. I already had Randolph. And the Governor. And Slinkie. And now Audrey. Didn’t need another one.

  “How’d you infiltrate Herion Military?”

  He perked up a bit. “That was actually kind of fun. Met a disgruntled officer about my size, learned he was getting transferred to Main Unit but really knew no one, took his identity and clothing, showed up in his place, no one knew the difference. That’s the nice thing about telepathy—that first blush meeting can tell you a lot.”

  “No one recognized you as the person who’d saved that ship and its crew?”

  Tanner snorted. “The ship’s captain was questioned by Herion Military and he took all the credit for his great ‘space instincts’. I wasn’t part of his crew, no one questioned me. I left the ship and hid until I found the person I needed.”

  “So what happened to the guy you were impersonating?”

  Tanner pointed to a smaller, even more bumpy road. I could see what looked like a Herion farm complex—square and stolid buildings painted red and white—in the distance. “We’re going to stay with him tonight.”

  CHAPTER 33

  I stopped the tankfloater. “Are you kidding me? Or insane? Or both?”

  Tanner sighed. “He wanted out. I gave him the out. I’m hoping to get off-planet. In which case, he deserves the opportunity to take the uniform back. And if he doesn’t want it back, then he has to know he’s keeping his current persona forever.”

  “And you thought this was a good idea why?”

  He rolled his eyes. “I read the guy’s mind. He hated military life. He wanted to go back to his farm. So, I gave him the opportunity to do so. I’ve kept an eye on him, he’s done nothing but happily farm under his new name and keep a low profile. He wanted out of Herion Military as badly as I do.”

  “The deal doesn’t look that bad. Herion Military, I mean.”

  “Yeah? You ever dealt with bullies?”

  “Who hasn’t?”

  “Well, try working with an entire military complex of bullies who are also so focused on following rules to the letter that a non-shiny button means hours worth of haranguing and apologizing. Lionside is a decent enough guy, but even he’s a stickler for the tiny details.”

  I had to be truthful. “That sounds like hell.”

  “Worse than hell. There are interesting people in hell.”

  “Not in Herion Military?”

  “Only interesting person, aside from myself, is Nitin. If you’re into horror, he’s your man.”

  “What’s he want, besides Audrey?” I figured now was as good a time as any to ask that unanswered question again.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Come on! You had to have gotten something from him.”

  He shook his head. “You have no idea. I told you, my telepathy’s affected by my reactions to someone. The longer I know them, the less I can read them, yeah. But in some cases, it’s almost instantaneous.”

  “How do you mean?”

  Tanner heaved a sigh. “Love at first sight, instant loathing. I’ll get the first impression, and then that mind’s slammed shut to me, because my mind won’t let itself in.”

  “Why not?”

  “In the case of loathing, because someone like
Nitin is so repulsive to me that I don’t want to know. In the case of love….” He shrugged again. “I guess I don’t want to know if she hates me, when I disappoint her, things like that.”

  “You’re in love with Slinkie?”

  He laughed, long and loud. “Ah, no. You are, not me. I was talking about the general ‘she’ as in, the couple of girls I fell in love with who decided they didn’t want to be with a weirdo.” The laughter was gone now, replaced with the angry bitterness and a hurt expression he got rid of quickly.

  I did not want to feel sorry for this kid. Or like him. No liking. I was being firm with myself. I did not need another stray dog hanging around.

  “Okay.” I started the tankfloater up again. “So, we’re heading to this farming complex because you think this guy is trustworthy?”

  “We have more on him than he has on us. He’s a deserter. I’m just a kid who was so eager to join Herion Military I traded places with this guy to get in. I’ve had a great record, they’d let me stay. I might even get a promotion for it. What they’d do to him, though….”

  “You’d stay with them?” Decided I might as well head for the farm. We had to be less conspicuous there than in the middle of this deserted road.

  “If I have to in order to survive, yeah. I’m a field operative. That means you’re given your assignment and then, until it’s completed, you’re pretty much on your own. No credits, no help, nothing. Just you and your skills, all alone in the big, bad cosmos.”

  “Your story of woe isn’t affecting me.”

  “No idea if it is or not any more.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  He looked out his side window. “I already know you too well.”

  “Come on, you’ve been around me for a couple of hours.”

  Tanner shrugged but didn’t say anything. He was still looking out the window. I got the impression he was embarrassed again.

  “So, what’s your assignment for Aviatus?”

  “I can’t, and won’t, tell you.” He sounded serious.

  “You told me about your telepathic powers but won’t tell me what you’re doing for the Aviatian Government?”

  “Right.”

  “Why not? Seems to me that you gave away a lot more by telling me about your telepathy than you would talking about your mission.”

  He snorted. “You’d already figured out I was a telepath. There’s no big reveal in me telling you what my limitations are—they show up clearly if I’m around someone long enough. Either people believe me when I tell them how my telepathy works or they don’t. The ones that don’t end up trying to, say, think ‘throw me that laser!’ while I’m there hoping they have a plan to keep us alive.”

  “So, really, the longer you’re with a group, the less help to the group you are.”

  “If that’s how you want to look at it, yeah.” His voice was tight, and I could hear the hurt, though I could tell he was trying to hide it.

  Something Saladine had said to me chose this moment to surface in my memory. You don’t get to choose your family, but you do get to choose your friends.

  “I’m going to regret this, I can tell already, but, if you’re not actually trying to double-cross us, then, yeah, we’ll take you off Herion with us.”

  Tanner looked at me and I could tell he was shocked. “You mean it?”

  I tested him and thought, “no way in hell, gonna shoot him the moment his back is turned” and then waited. Nothing. He still looked hopeful and surprised, but not worried. Either he was better at lying than I was, and I knew he wasn’t, or he couldn’t read my mind any more. “Yeah, I mean it.”

  “You are such a feathered pushover,” Slinkie snarled in my ear.

  “Slink, meet Tanner Lauris. We’re sort of adding him on to the crew.”

  “Yeah, thanks for that. Why are we going to a farm?”

  “Because we’re going to hide out here until tomorrow evening,” Tanner answered. “You can stop hating on me any time. Oh, and as a suggestion, it’s better if you don’t panic about the things you want to hide. The way the mind works, the moment you try to hide it, it’s the clearest thought in your mind. Just a tip, for whenever you run into another telepath.”

  “Thanks, you’re a prince.” Slinkie sounded one moment away from trying to break Tanner’s neck.

  But he just turned around, looked at her, and winked. “No. I’m not.”

  CHAPTER 34

  I would have loved to pursue the many questions this particular exchange brought up, but we were pulling up to the farm complex and I had to pay attention, because we were being attacked. By a pack of the biggest, meanest looking dogs I’d ever seen.

  “Can we go now?”

  “Just stop the ’floater and wait.” Tanner didn’t seem concerned. “Jabbob will be out shortly.”

  Sure enough, a man about Tanner’s size came out. He didn’t look all that much like Tanner—I wasn’t interested in romantic relationships with other males, but I could say Tanner was a lot better looking than this Jabbob without concern. The guy wasn’t ugly, but he wasn’t anything you’d want to stare at for any length of time. He also had a rather dim expression. It became easier to see why and how Tanner had worked the identity switch.

  Jabbob recognized Tanner, or at least the uniform, and he nodded and indicated we should drive all the way onto the property. The dogs were milling around him, but all were smart enough to stay out of the way of the tankfloater.

  Tanner got out and I did as well. I didn’t want to miss anything they might say to each other, especially in case “play along,” “here’s the suckers,” “spring the trap” or similar were anywhere in the conversation.

  But it was all pretty standard. The “my friends and I need to hide for a day, can you help us” sort of thing. Amazingly, Jabbob didn’t seem to find this request odd or upsetting. His biggest concern was the sleeping arrangements.

  Tanner introduced us. “Leon, this is Jabbob. Jabbob, this is Leon.”

  I chose not to question the use of this particular abbreviation of my middle name and shook hands with Jabbob. “Nice to meet you. Are you sure we’re not intruding?”

  “No. Any friend of Tan’s is a friend of mine.” Jabbob seemed sincere. It was almost unnerving, especially after Tanner’s whole sob story of not having a friend in the galaxy.

  Jabbob had us move the tankfloater into one of his barns, in between several long-eared donkeys that served as the main farm animal on Herion. The donkeys, like the dogs, didn’t seem tied up, and, as everyone got out, they and the dogs all started their animal introductions.

  “Get down!” Slinkie wasn’t much of a girl for dogs, especially big, overly friendly and inquisitive dogs. “Get off me!” She wasn’t much for the donkeys, either, particularly the one that seemed to want to eat her hair.

  Jabbob chuckled. “Don’t worry, miss. They’re just being friendly. Ol’ Temper there just likes pretty ladies.”

  “I’m not into anything with four feet,” Slinkie snapped. Jabbob gave her a look that clearly said he didn’t understand. “You don’t like animals?”

  “Not that way.”

  “What way?” Jabbob was confused. “They just want some attention, that’s all.”

  Tanner intervened. “Miss Slin’s just had a long day, Jabbob. She’s actually quite the animal lover. But she had some men treat her roughly, so, we’d like to get her, and the other lady, Drey, inside and resting as soon as possible.”

  “Of course.” Jabbob was instantly contrite. “I’m sorry, miss. Pups, brays, off!” The dogs and the donkeys backed away. At least they listened to him.

  He led us into his house. I grabbed Tanner. “Isn’t he going to ask why Audrey’s shiny?”

  Tanner shook his head. “No. Jabbob is a very… simple person. Very face value.”

  “But he was an officer in Herion Military.”

  “Every male on this planet does time in Herion Military. He did what he was supposed to, when he was
supposed to, and was willing to be brave, so they moved him up the ranks. He was miserable there. I doubt he’s going to want to go back. He’s happy here with his animals. And, before you ask, yeah, I saw his mind clearly and he’s not faking it. There’s not a lot of smart there, but he knows what he does and doesn’t like. Does like animals, does like helping people, doesn’t like being in Herion Military, doesn’t like anyone telling him what to do.”

  “I can relate to his dislikes. You’re sure he won’t turn us in?”

  “Positive.” Tanner winced. “Get her under control, will you? She’s going to upset Jabbob, and then, if that happens, then I don’t know what he’ll do.”

  “Who, Audrey?”

  “No, Audrey isn’t a problem. Slinkie is, as always, the problem. And, yeah, I’m using variations of everyone’s names so he doesn’t know, for sure, who everyone is. Think the rest of your crew will catch on?”

  “The girls and the Governor, yes. Randolph, not so sure.” I was going to ask how he’d know that Slinkie was always a problem when I heard the shouting, and then the screaming.

  We looked at each other and ran into the house.

  CHAPTER 35

  “It’s a snake! It’s a ton of snakes! Get them off me! Get them off me!” Randolph was at his female opera singer level again.

  “They’re not dangerous,” Jabbob said calmly.

  Audrey took the snakes off Randolph, gently and carefully. “Where should I put them?” she asked Jabbob.

  “Oh, I suppose in their cage.” He took a couple of the snakes and put them into a huge glass terrarium that took up most of his main sitting room. “They don’t like it in there much, but since he’s so upset by them, may as well.”

  “Ran’s a little jumpy, too,” Tanner said quickly, as Audrey put the rest of the snakes away and Randolph shuddered and muttered.

  “I’m Mur,” the Governor interjected, voice quavering. “Mister Jabbob, would you mind if an old man takes a seat?” The Governor was good, I had to give him that.